Thursday, November 29, 2012

My Social Awareness Writing Project


Reading response on The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien.
  “Send guys to war, they come home talking dirty.” One of the quotes that I have read in the book I am currently reading. It seems to say something in that entire quote.  One thing I have learned from this quote is that war can change a person completely.
  While reading throughout the chapter where this quote was found, the author was explaining the story of his friend, Rat Kiley. His best friend, Curt Lemon, died one day in the war. A week later, Rat Kiley decided to write a letter to his sister explaining what a good friend and soldier he was. In the end he waited two months, she never replied back. Rat Kiley seemed hurt by not receiving a reply, so he simply said, “Jesus Christ, man, I write this beautiful fuckin’ letter, I slave over it, and what happens? The dumb cooze never writes back.”(O’Brien,66). The author mentions that Rat Kiley says cooze instead of bitch because it’s too much for him. He’s only nineteen and couldn’t handle the fact that he lost his best friend.
  “War is hell, but that’s not the half of it, because war is also mystery and terror and adventures and courage and discovery and holiness and pity and despair and longing and loving. War is nasty; war if fun. War is thrilling; war is drudgery. War makes you a man; war makes you dead.”(O’Brien,76).  This quote has shown the effects that war has on you. It makes you think harder about it. One moment you might think it’s scary to walk around knowing you might die; but then, you might think it’s fun using grenades and getting to blow up stuff and shoot people. You could either live, or you could die. It made me feel different. One way was that, for like a minute, I was thinking of joining the army just to see what the experience was like. After thinking and thinking about it again, I realized, I don’t really want to risk my life just to experience something that honestly scares just by thinking about it. If I was told I had to experience a life like that, stuck in a war not knowing whether you’ll live or die, I wouldn’t want to do it.
  Looking over that quote and the quote where Rat Kiley came up, I questioned myself asking, what would happen if I decide to go join the army and survive it all? How would I retell everyone my experience over and over again? Would I wake up from all the possible, traumatizing things that might occur during the war? If I got to live the experience for a day and then had to decide whether that experience would be most of my life or only that one day, which one would I choose? The answer; I think I’d only choose that one day. I wouldn’t want to experience the things the men experienced all throughout the book. I focus on Rat Kiley and his problem. If my best friend and I joined the army, would I be willing to make most of it fun like Curt Lemon? If we were both in the army, what would I do if she died one day like Curt Lemon did? I honestly can’t even think of losing my best friend in a war like Rat Kiley did. Rat Kiley couldn’t handle losing Curt Lemon, and it ended up hurting him even more when his sister never replied to Rat Kiley’s letter. How did Rat Kiley express all that anger and sadness? He ended up shooting a baby water buffalo so many times. He shot it everywhere and after he was done shooting, he just cradled his rifle and went off to cry. The interesting thing? The buffalo made no sound all throughout the shooting…it was just quiet, as if to let Rat Kiley know that he was there to help him.
  Looking back and remembering everything I felt, thought, and questioned myself, I noticed that you didn’t really need to experience everything in order to feel what Rat Kiley and the others felt. All you had to do was just read it all. Everything the author described, showed you what they saw, what they felt, all throughout the story. You could experience what they had to go through but what you gain through that? You would just end up as traumatized and probably as hurt as they were. You could’ve died as well too, and all for what? Just for an experience that made you curious? All those words describing Rat Kiley’s situation was all you needed to read for you to understand, war does change people.


A Poem:

Every day she walks to school with fear
Wondering, what she’ll hear.
She steps in the classroom looking around
Knowing if they say two words, she’ll make a sound.
And for that, is the reason she doesn’t want to be there
Even though she pretends she doesn’t, she actually does care.

Every day she is asked the same
“Why do you like them, they’re just so lame.”
And for that she wants to stand up and defend
But instead blushes and hides her head.
She could never tell them the reason she loves to much
The memory just makes her want to hush.

Whenever they are bought up, she wants to keep talking.
But when they question her, she just keeps on walking.
The thought of all the hate that is sent to them maker her think
When she receives some of the hate, it just makes her turn pink.
“Listen to the things you say, and the things you do.
Do you really think they’ll ever notice you?”

She tries not to listen to those nineteen words.
She wants them to know, they make up her whole world.
If only they knew it was them who made her little things seem important.
In some way, they are to her, an antidepressant.
“They’re just a bunch of losers who don’t really care about you”
That makes her sad but she thinks about what they do.

1 thing they did made her think about what makes her beautiful.
Doing what they do, just pretending that they’re cool.
Letting them fill up her head, she tries to enjoy her life even more.
What makes her jump up for joy is never a bore.
While they enter her mind with the words they sing, her words disappear from her tongue.
Yes, while all the other send hate, she knows to live while she’s young.


Reflection on poem:
  The issue that this poem focuses on is about a girl who is constantly teased for liking something most people hate. She just wants people to know the real reason why she loves them so much. However whenever she tells people her story, most don’t believe her and just shrug it off as an obsession. It’s hard for her to fit in, knowing how everyone feels about her and her so-called “obsession”. She really wants to make friends, but as soon as she tells them about this like she has, they don’t want anything to do with her. She only has three other friends who share this love and thirteen other friends who have learnt to be okay with her love.
  This poem is actually based on a true story. The process of writing it? Easy; I just took regular things that they say to her on a daily basis. I thought about how she feels and what she thinks. I show the view through her eyes. Once you read it, you can actually get the idea of who the mysterious “they and them” are. The girl in this story? Yes, that girl is me. This poem expresses what I go through just because I like One Direction.



Observations on my surroundings
-me and my friends being picked on for liking One Direction
-a girl being told to be prettier
-a girl being called lesbian for being a tomboy
-a guy being called a nerd for being too smart
-many people doing self-harm for all the words they’ve been told
-people being abandoned for not telling two little secrets

  I witnessed a girl being called a lesbian. The bad thing about it? She’s not. She is just simply not into all the girly stuff most girls like. She has a few girly qualities, but she tends to like the stuff most guys like. She’s into video games and hates make-up. She likes sports and won’t be caught dead in a dress. Her friends classify her fashion sense as “tomboy casual”. And because of all these things, she was labeled as a lesbian. The worse part about it is that it wasn’t her classmates or local strangers who called her a lesbian. It was her mother. She was called a lesbian by her mother just because she acted like a guy. This is wrong because no one deserves to be judged by the way they act. She usually tries to show her mom that she can act like a girl, but eventually she gives up because she hates it all. She hates sitting with her legs crossed, hates the dresses, the shoes, the make-up, the clothing, the hair.
  The causes to this problem? She is expected to act like a lady all the time. She must not slack and must have the proper attire and do the things most girls do. Her dad is the one who mostly torments her, asking her why she wears the same sneakers everyday instead of switching to boots or other shoes. Whenever taken to the clothing malls by her parents and sister, she never chooses to buy anything. They offer to buy her the most expensive clothing and shoes, but she never likes the clothing. Her usual response to her parent’s offer is, “So you can spend all that money on ugly clothing and yet, you can’t use that money to buy me a skateboard?” Her parents ignore the comment. The effect of being called a lesbian just hurts her self esteem a lot. She just didn’t like it that her mother immediately judged her by calling her that even though she was just behaving the way she liked. Her sister’s Christmas wish? New clothing and Justin Bieber’s new perfume. Her very own wish? A skateboard. Her parents thoughts on her Christmas present? Her dad is not buying her anything. Her mom doesn’t care what she thinks and is going to buy her two dresses that she is forcing her into wearing a lot. She is left without a say and so is just quiet all the time. She longs to talk to someone about this problem, but she doesn’t think anyone would want to help her.
  Some possible solutions to this problem would be for her parents to truly understand what she’s going through. Her parents don’t know how she feels all the time whenever they force to buy some girly stuff that she isn’t interested in. Another thing would be for the girl to have a conversation with both her parents at the same time, face to face. She needs to tell them how much it bothers her. She gets that her parents want her to act a certain way but she needs to tell them that she can’t be forced to act like someone she’s not. They need to sort it out and come up with a solution that can satisfy them all. For example, maybe she can be allowed to act the way she wants and then dress the way her parents want her to for a few days. She may be into the things guys usually like, and may have that boyish attitude in her, but one thing is certain, she is not a lesbian.

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